The Ghost of High Christmas Expectations

From Dec. 5, 2009 -

My little girl and I went to see the Nutcracker puppet show at the library. I was so uptight about being late that I almost ruined the whole dang experience. So often I have this attitude like "WE WILL BE HAPPY! WE WILL HAVE FUN!! WE WILL HAVE THE PERFECT EXPERIENCE EVEN IF IT KILLS ME!!!"

Fortunately, My girl was her bright and shiny self, even though she boycotted her morning nap. She had more fun looking and smiling at the kids than looking at the puppets. Once again, learning important lessons from a 13 month old child.

Today (Dec. 20, 2009) - I read a passage from a book by Buddhist Nun Pema Chodron that summed up my frantic desire to have everything just right. "The key to feeling at home with your body, mind and emotions, to feeling worthy to live on this planet, comes from being able to lighten up. This earnestness, this seriousness about everything in our lives - including practice - this goal-oriented, we're-going-to-do-it-or-else attitude, is the world's greatest killjoy. There's no sense of appreciation because we're so solemn about everything."

You can say that again.

Last night, we trimmed our cute little Charlie Brown Christmas tree. I'll post a picture if I get a chance. My husband bought it because I was getting uptight about it getting so close to Christmas and all we had was our ugly tiny fake tree that can't stand up under all my heavy ornaments. So he picked one up while I was at work and the first thing I thought when I saw it was -- what's up with the scrawny tree? He even paid full price for it (he totally got took) - but I didn't say anything -- you know why? 'Cause he's not into Christmas, and doesn't care about a tree. He did the Christmas tree thing for me, so why am I then gonna criticize because it's not perfect? Besides, just like with Charlie Brown's tree, someone's gotta love the scrawny ones too. So we listed to the Jackson 5 Christmas album and actually had fun putting the ornaments on. And I'm trying to learn to have fun even when things aren't perfect. One day at a time.

Being an Actual Librarian, For Once

I'm thinking about taking some time over Christmas to re-read books that I loved as a kid, but that, when I try to booktalk them, I try way too hard to rely on my memories of the book from when I was 8, 9, 10, or so, and end up stammering and driving the kids away from the books by really not doing them justice with my description.

(What a lovely run-on sentence THAT was.)

I'm also thinking about reading some Children's Lit classics that I always wanted to read. What is a classic? That will be defined by me, since I'll be reading them.

I wonder if I'll punk out?

I also reserve the right to stop reading any of them at any point, since I'm not in school and life is too short to read bad books (or books that are just boring you at the time.) I remember being discussing some books with fellow librarians a few years ago. If I remember correctly, it was the consensus that one particular book (I don't remember which -- no, I really don't) was tough to drag ourselves through. One person said: "why did you keep reading the book?" and we all, including librarians who had been doing this a lot longer than me, kinda looked incredulous. Someone said something to the effect of not wanting to give up on it in case it got good at the end.

I've heard that again and again, and it makes me feel like I'm not alone in my zealousness to "finish. that. stinkin'. book.", but also so glad that I heard the other person ask why we kept on reading -- because it gave me permission to stop reading a book that is so bad it makes me want to puncture my eyeballs. Of course, do I take advantage of this right? No. But I like to think I write amusing reviews of bad books, so maybe it's serving a purpose.

supercoolhappylovegroovething

I have a backlog of little inspirational messages that are sent to me everyday.

The one for today said "what could you do, within your means and comfort level, that could make you feel like a supercoolhappylovething?" That. That's it. That word makes me happy. The only way that the word "supercoolhappylovething" could be any better is if it had the word "groove" in it too.

Also, getting off the computer before I start to curse myself for wasting time.

Enjoy your day. Or evening. Whatever. It's daytime somewhere.

Things that make you go...what!?!

I just saw a post somewhere that Gary Busey is expecting a baby with his girlfriend, and to that I say. Girlfriend? Who the heck was having sex with Gary Busey? That's just amazing to me. Everytime I think of him I think of the Entourage episode where Ari says to Gary Busey: "You're about to spin off this planet." I think that's an apt description of Busey. I get a strange feeling that he wasn't even acting; that he was just being himself in all his Gary-ness. It's just what makes life interesting.

Guess Who's Back?

Dang. Have I been gone that long?

VMA, Play by Play

Both my husband and I were left with our mouths open just now. Taylor Swift ("You Belong With Me"), Lady Gaga ("Poker Face"), Beyonce ("Single Ladies"), and Pink ("So What") were up for Best Female Video. Taylor Swift won and in the middle of her acceptance speech, Kanye West jumped up on stage and said "Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time!" Who the hell gave Kanye a mike? That was the most messed up moment I've ever seen on an awards show, more so than when Tommy Lee and Kid Rock started the fight in the audience. I've never seen Taylor Swift's video, but God knows she didn't deserve that - she seems like a sweetheart. Poor Beyonce was just sitting in the audience looking like she didn't know what to do. Next VMA's, Kanye needs to be bound and gagged.

Why are there 6 empty seats right in the two front center rows in the audience?

What the hell does Lady Gaga have on her head? Like she wrapped red lace around her head and stuck a big red pole up through the top of it. Does she think that looks good? Did anyone tell her that her performance was over? Speaking of her performance, I was typing and looked down and have no idea when or why she ended up with fake blood on her face. I guess she was saying something about the destructive nature of the paparazzi?

Thank you Green Day lead singer whose name I don't know, for saying that MTV needs to play more videos. Hear, hear. I'd gladly watch more videos in place of stupid Road Rules versus The Real World or Parental Control. The only shows I really like on MTV are Americas Best Dance Crew and True Life.

So Britney Spears' Womanizer won Best Pop Video and she was up against Beyonce's Single Ladies. Now, that's a video that didn't deserve to win against Beyonce's video. I was half expecting Kanye to jump on stage to protest that one, too, but I guess they've got him under lock and key now.

I know this is after the fact, but I really loved Madonna's tribute to Michael Jackson. It seemed heartfelt and very real. As far as I was concerned, MTV could have skipped the dancers for the other MJ songs, and jumped straight to Janet Jackson's tribute. The end with his face looking down onto the stage through the smoke was very cool.

Kristen Stewart's dress is very cute, but she looks like a tomboy dressed up for the prom, and her hair is way too dark for her face. Okay. As a librarian, I've heard a lot about how the book Twilight isn't that good and I've also heard how the movie isn't so hot either, but the extended trailer doesn't look so bad. Of course, the advertisers do have to earn their money. Um, excuse me, but what does Twilight have to do with music? Music Videos?

Beyonce just performed Single Ladies and I just have three words for her back-up dancer: Double. Sided. Tape. The dancer's butt was half hanging out of that leotard, but I have to give it to her - she kept on dancing. I've danced on stage before, and I know how important it is to keep going, and as someone who has suffered through wedgies, I know it probably wasn't easy.

If T.I. wins Best Male Video, will he accept it live from jail? That would be weird. He did win. Good for him. I'm glad it wasn't Kanye. That would be extremely very weird. What would he have to say if he won? I don't want to hear it. As an aside, T.I. cleans up really well. He's kinda skinny, but kinda hot.

I love JLo, but her outfits are so UGLY. I like Asher Roth, but what he does is NOT hip hop. Eminem won. He always does good videos, and even though I haven't seen this one, but come on, Dr. Dre is dressed up like Captain Kirk. Major coolness points. Eminem looks thinner than I remember him and very somber.

Lady Gaga's head piece actually is not a pole sticking out of red lace wrapped around her face. It's actually a jagged looking very tall crown type thing sticking out of red lace wrapped around her face. It looks like something out of a Tim Burton movie. Ugly, but points for originality.

Wow, Serena Williams looks good. She looks feminine. What does Serena Williams have to do with music? Unless she's still dating Common, which in and of itself doesn't really count.

Pink is making me nervous. She's up too high. I didn't see her all hooked up to the wires. How is she singing and doing this trapese act at the same time? I saw her in the audience before with her ex (?) husband. I hope they are back together.

Actually, Kanye called it. Beyonce won Video of the Year. But he was dead wrong and so inappropriate in coming out when he did. Oh, I'm going to cry! Beyonce called Taylor Swift out on stage so that she could finish the speech that Kanye didn't let her finish. Beyonce has so much class. Love Her! Love Her!

Lady Gaga is now wearing a birds nest around her face. Sigh.

Why is Jay-Z approaching Radio City Music Hall in a motorcade like he's the president? He's a trip. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize he was the "Mayor of New York." At least that's what Russell Brand called him. I would have liked to see him perform with Beyonce, but I guess she needs a break. It's been a busy night for her. Besides, Alicia Keys isn't exactly sloppy seconds. Why is Lil' Mama on stage too? Fire the security company that is supposed to keep random celebrities off the stage!

Just saw the rehearsal footage trailer for Michael Jackson's tour. It looks like it would have been an amazing tour.

Russell Brand wasn't funny, except for the quip about our health care, which was right on target. Let's hope for someone else next year.

Touche!

Russell Brand on the VMA's on how England is different from the United States:
"Instead of truck, we say lorry. Instead of elevator, we say lift. Instead of letting people die in the street, we have free health care." Go on, boy! Tell the truth and shame the devil.