VMA, Play by Play

Both my husband and I were left with our mouths open just now. Taylor Swift ("You Belong With Me"), Lady Gaga ("Poker Face"), Beyonce ("Single Ladies"), and Pink ("So What") were up for Best Female Video. Taylor Swift won and in the middle of her acceptance speech, Kanye West jumped up on stage and said "Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time!" Who the hell gave Kanye a mike? That was the most messed up moment I've ever seen on an awards show, more so than when Tommy Lee and Kid Rock started the fight in the audience. I've never seen Taylor Swift's video, but God knows she didn't deserve that - she seems like a sweetheart. Poor Beyonce was just sitting in the audience looking like she didn't know what to do. Next VMA's, Kanye needs to be bound and gagged.

Why are there 6 empty seats right in the two front center rows in the audience?

What the hell does Lady Gaga have on her head? Like she wrapped red lace around her head and stuck a big red pole up through the top of it. Does she think that looks good? Did anyone tell her that her performance was over? Speaking of her performance, I was typing and looked down and have no idea when or why she ended up with fake blood on her face. I guess she was saying something about the destructive nature of the paparazzi?

Thank you Green Day lead singer whose name I don't know, for saying that MTV needs to play more videos. Hear, hear. I'd gladly watch more videos in place of stupid Road Rules versus The Real World or Parental Control. The only shows I really like on MTV are Americas Best Dance Crew and True Life.

So Britney Spears' Womanizer won Best Pop Video and she was up against Beyonce's Single Ladies. Now, that's a video that didn't deserve to win against Beyonce's video. I was half expecting Kanye to jump on stage to protest that one, too, but I guess they've got him under lock and key now.

I know this is after the fact, but I really loved Madonna's tribute to Michael Jackson. It seemed heartfelt and very real. As far as I was concerned, MTV could have skipped the dancers for the other MJ songs, and jumped straight to Janet Jackson's tribute. The end with his face looking down onto the stage through the smoke was very cool.

Kristen Stewart's dress is very cute, but she looks like a tomboy dressed up for the prom, and her hair is way too dark for her face. Okay. As a librarian, I've heard a lot about how the book Twilight isn't that good and I've also heard how the movie isn't so hot either, but the extended trailer doesn't look so bad. Of course, the advertisers do have to earn their money. Um, excuse me, but what does Twilight have to do with music? Music Videos?

Beyonce just performed Single Ladies and I just have three words for her back-up dancer: Double. Sided. Tape. The dancer's butt was half hanging out of that leotard, but I have to give it to her - she kept on dancing. I've danced on stage before, and I know how important it is to keep going, and as someone who has suffered through wedgies, I know it probably wasn't easy.

If T.I. wins Best Male Video, will he accept it live from jail? That would be weird. He did win. Good for him. I'm glad it wasn't Kanye. That would be extremely very weird. What would he have to say if he won? I don't want to hear it. As an aside, T.I. cleans up really well. He's kinda skinny, but kinda hot.

I love JLo, but her outfits are so UGLY. I like Asher Roth, but what he does is NOT hip hop. Eminem won. He always does good videos, and even though I haven't seen this one, but come on, Dr. Dre is dressed up like Captain Kirk. Major coolness points. Eminem looks thinner than I remember him and very somber.

Lady Gaga's head piece actually is not a pole sticking out of red lace wrapped around her face. It's actually a jagged looking very tall crown type thing sticking out of red lace wrapped around her face. It looks like something out of a Tim Burton movie. Ugly, but points for originality.

Wow, Serena Williams looks good. She looks feminine. What does Serena Williams have to do with music? Unless she's still dating Common, which in and of itself doesn't really count.

Pink is making me nervous. She's up too high. I didn't see her all hooked up to the wires. How is she singing and doing this trapese act at the same time? I saw her in the audience before with her ex (?) husband. I hope they are back together.

Actually, Kanye called it. Beyonce won Video of the Year. But he was dead wrong and so inappropriate in coming out when he did. Oh, I'm going to cry! Beyonce called Taylor Swift out on stage so that she could finish the speech that Kanye didn't let her finish. Beyonce has so much class. Love Her! Love Her!

Lady Gaga is now wearing a birds nest around her face. Sigh.

Why is Jay-Z approaching Radio City Music Hall in a motorcade like he's the president? He's a trip. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize he was the "Mayor of New York." At least that's what Russell Brand called him. I would have liked to see him perform with Beyonce, but I guess she needs a break. It's been a busy night for her. Besides, Alicia Keys isn't exactly sloppy seconds. Why is Lil' Mama on stage too? Fire the security company that is supposed to keep random celebrities off the stage!

Just saw the rehearsal footage trailer for Michael Jackson's tour. It looks like it would have been an amazing tour.

Russell Brand wasn't funny, except for the quip about our health care, which was right on target. Let's hope for someone else next year.

Touche!

Russell Brand on the VMA's on how England is different from the United States:
"Instead of truck, we say lorry. Instead of elevator, we say lift. Instead of letting people die in the street, we have free health care." Go on, boy! Tell the truth and shame the devil.

Retro Fisher Price

When I was a kid, I had the coolest Fisher Price toys! Remember the telephone with the moving eyes? Or the FP house with working "doorbell"? How about the FP farm, complete with cow, sheep and horse with plastic mane and tail that looked like thin licorice? I almost forgot - I also had the FP school, complete with swing set -- this was back when kids were still allowed to have recess.
I've seen the new FP people and they are cute and chunky, but I liked my choking hazard FP people - the kid with the baseball cap, and the teacher who put you in mind of what Mrs. Brady would probably look like if she was a Fisher Price person (and had a bun on top of her head). Besides, I probably wouldn't buy them for my kid until she was about 2 so she should know better than to try to eat them. Who am I kidding? I'd buy them and just play with them myself until she was ready to use them.

I mentioned the wonders of FP to my husband, who had no idea what I was talking about -- come on. Your parents didn't even get you the rolling, popping vacuum cleaner type thingy? What's up?

Even if you didn't have them at home, pediatrician's offices across the country kept kids in line with those toys in the waiting area. I know they are probably a playground for germs in public places, but it's better than the same stale video of Beauty and the Beast that I see every time I go to Kaiser.

Overheard on Project Runway

"Do you have the kitty cat inside you?" - Heidi to model Matar on why Epperson's dress was described as Romantic Tiger Punk. I love Heidi. So much that comes out of her mouth is classic, but you have to hear HER say it to get the full hilarity of it.

For more PR season 6, ep. 4, (and pics of the romantic tiger punk dress) see here.

Crazy People!

Working in a town known for having a number of residents (or visitors that never left) with a, shall we say, tenuous grip on reality, I've had my share of run-in's with some mentally incapacitated folk.

One woman scared most people on the street with her constant loud ranting and screaming of filth. Maybe I'm just ultra-sensitive, but it seemed that she saved her most vulgar invective for me. Whenever I would pass by she would look right at me and loudly call me a dirty bitch, or the n-word, or the four letter c-word, or all three, causing me to cringe and whomever happened to be close by to thank God that she wasn't singling them out today. Finally, she caught me on the wrong day. I was having just a bad enough morning that I didn't care about physical harm and when she started her shit and started to follow me with it, I turned around and yelled that I wasn't talking to her or bothering her. It shocked me and her enough that she turned around and walked away. Funny enough, the same thing once happened to me when a dog tried to attack my mom and I. I stepped in front of my mother and yelled at it to stop and go away, and it went away, seemingly stunned that I wasn't afraid. There's something about me, I guess, that makes people think that I won't fight back, and I guess usually that's the case. But not always.

Anyway, to make a long story even longer, I was at work minding my business when I woman came up to the children's reference desk and started to tell me about how the air quality in the library was so poor. I don't think she was wrong, necessarily, and I tried to tell her that our maintenance staff was aware that we had a problem with our HVAC and that might possibly account for the physical reaction that she assured me she was having to the air circulation in the building. That in and of itself wasn't the problem. it's that even after I told her that I would relay her concerns to maintenance, she continued, and went on, and on, and on, and on.

She talked about how people thought that those who were sensitive to off-gassing of various chemicals were crazy, but that now it's been proven that it affects even those of us who are not as super sensitive as she is. She talked about how she moved to be closer to the library so she could spend more time in the library and how now, after 20 minutes in the Children's Department, she feels so ill that she has to leave (of course she's spent about 10 minutes talking to me and an undisclosed amount of time in the rest of the library), and then when I told her she could fill out a suggestion form she seemed to imply that I needed to turn her complaint into my personal crusade. I needed to talk to the architects (!) and make sure they didn't do this in any other of their buildings. This even though the building was renovated over 6 years ago and I've only been working there 4 years, so even if I knew who the architects were, they've been long gone. I love (read my sarcasm) it when people want to tell you how that THEIR problem should become your life's work. Don't get me wrong, I'm not insensitive. But I had already promised her that I was going to do that which I was actually able to do. My idea to tell maintenance would probably be more effective at solving this lady's immediate problem than tracking down some architects who've long since ceased to care, if they ever did. Big sigh.

She whispered in such a soft voice I wasn't sure if the headache I was starting to get was from straining so hard to hear her or if her suggestion that the air quality was poor was starting to affect me. For the last two minutes of her complaint, another person was standing behind her waiting with a question. I repeatedly made eye contact with this other person and said, "I'll be right with you" but this woman was so into her own agenda that she never noticed and I had the hardest time cutting in to get her to STOP TALKING! After trying unsuccessfully to cut in, I finally just interrupted and said, "This young man is waiting to ask a question." To which she said, "Oh! You should have told me." (Watch me slam my head against the wall.)

Now, I'm not saying what she had to say was crazy, but her insistence that I talk to the architects (!) to fix it and prevent this from ever happening again, and her self-important self-absorption in going on and on when I told her I'd tell someone was at the very least, extremely annoying. Maybe I should have yelled STOP! GO AWAY!