VMA, Play by Play

Both my husband and I were left with our mouths open just now. Taylor Swift ("You Belong With Me"), Lady Gaga ("Poker Face"), Beyonce ("Single Ladies"), and Pink ("So What") were up for Best Female Video. Taylor Swift won and in the middle of her acceptance speech, Kanye West jumped up on stage and said "Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time!" Who the hell gave Kanye a mike? That was the most messed up moment I've ever seen on an awards show, more so than when Tommy Lee and Kid Rock started the fight in the audience. I've never seen Taylor Swift's video, but God knows she didn't deserve that - she seems like a sweetheart. Poor Beyonce was just sitting in the audience looking like she didn't know what to do. Next VMA's, Kanye needs to be bound and gagged.

Why are there 6 empty seats right in the two front center rows in the audience?

What the hell does Lady Gaga have on her head? Like she wrapped red lace around her head and stuck a big red pole up through the top of it. Does she think that looks good? Did anyone tell her that her performance was over? Speaking of her performance, I was typing and looked down and have no idea when or why she ended up with fake blood on her face. I guess she was saying something about the destructive nature of the paparazzi?

Thank you Green Day lead singer whose name I don't know, for saying that MTV needs to play more videos. Hear, hear. I'd gladly watch more videos in place of stupid Road Rules versus The Real World or Parental Control. The only shows I really like on MTV are Americas Best Dance Crew and True Life.

So Britney Spears' Womanizer won Best Pop Video and she was up against Beyonce's Single Ladies. Now, that's a video that didn't deserve to win against Beyonce's video. I was half expecting Kanye to jump on stage to protest that one, too, but I guess they've got him under lock and key now.

I know this is after the fact, but I really loved Madonna's tribute to Michael Jackson. It seemed heartfelt and very real. As far as I was concerned, MTV could have skipped the dancers for the other MJ songs, and jumped straight to Janet Jackson's tribute. The end with his face looking down onto the stage through the smoke was very cool.

Kristen Stewart's dress is very cute, but she looks like a tomboy dressed up for the prom, and her hair is way too dark for her face. Okay. As a librarian, I've heard a lot about how the book Twilight isn't that good and I've also heard how the movie isn't so hot either, but the extended trailer doesn't look so bad. Of course, the advertisers do have to earn their money. Um, excuse me, but what does Twilight have to do with music? Music Videos?

Beyonce just performed Single Ladies and I just have three words for her back-up dancer: Double. Sided. Tape. The dancer's butt was half hanging out of that leotard, but I have to give it to her - she kept on dancing. I've danced on stage before, and I know how important it is to keep going, and as someone who has suffered through wedgies, I know it probably wasn't easy.

If T.I. wins Best Male Video, will he accept it live from jail? That would be weird. He did win. Good for him. I'm glad it wasn't Kanye. That would be extremely very weird. What would he have to say if he won? I don't want to hear it. As an aside, T.I. cleans up really well. He's kinda skinny, but kinda hot.

I love JLo, but her outfits are so UGLY. I like Asher Roth, but what he does is NOT hip hop. Eminem won. He always does good videos, and even though I haven't seen this one, but come on, Dr. Dre is dressed up like Captain Kirk. Major coolness points. Eminem looks thinner than I remember him and very somber.

Lady Gaga's head piece actually is not a pole sticking out of red lace wrapped around her face. It's actually a jagged looking very tall crown type thing sticking out of red lace wrapped around her face. It looks like something out of a Tim Burton movie. Ugly, but points for originality.

Wow, Serena Williams looks good. She looks feminine. What does Serena Williams have to do with music? Unless she's still dating Common, which in and of itself doesn't really count.

Pink is making me nervous. She's up too high. I didn't see her all hooked up to the wires. How is she singing and doing this trapese act at the same time? I saw her in the audience before with her ex (?) husband. I hope they are back together.

Actually, Kanye called it. Beyonce won Video of the Year. But he was dead wrong and so inappropriate in coming out when he did. Oh, I'm going to cry! Beyonce called Taylor Swift out on stage so that she could finish the speech that Kanye didn't let her finish. Beyonce has so much class. Love Her! Love Her!

Lady Gaga is now wearing a birds nest around her face. Sigh.

Why is Jay-Z approaching Radio City Music Hall in a motorcade like he's the president? He's a trip. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize he was the "Mayor of New York." At least that's what Russell Brand called him. I would have liked to see him perform with Beyonce, but I guess she needs a break. It's been a busy night for her. Besides, Alicia Keys isn't exactly sloppy seconds. Why is Lil' Mama on stage too? Fire the security company that is supposed to keep random celebrities off the stage!

Just saw the rehearsal footage trailer for Michael Jackson's tour. It looks like it would have been an amazing tour.

Russell Brand wasn't funny, except for the quip about our health care, which was right on target. Let's hope for someone else next year.