This article tells the truth , and is more an indictment of the lives we lead, our idealism about parenting, and the lack of support and amount of pressure parents get in modern American society. I really feel like I'm dammed no matter what I do: I'm just a bad momma (and not in a good way).
I'm posting this at the risk of sounding ungrateful for my sweet little girl (22 months old), who when I apologized to her for being generally cranky and hard to get along with this afternoon, looked pensive and then gave me a much needed hug and kiss, like "I forgive you, Mommy". It really is moments like that which make the tantrums (hers and mine - not kidding), guilt, anxiety, and lack of freedom worth it. Actually, my tantrums aren't really worth it so much as a side effect of frustration, but oh, that's for another day.
Plus, my girl is a great teacher in the art of slowing down -- if only I had the time to learn...
All Joy and No Fun
New York Magazine, July 4, 2010
http://nymag.com/news/features/67024/
Accessed August 17, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Pyrex Love!
http://lorenzstudio.com/2007_01_01_lorenzstudio_archive.html
Actually and anyway, it's not really my mom's Pyrex dish, but she had a set of Pyrex bowls that I wish I had rescued when she died. My only hope is that my sister might have them, but I"m sure my father's new wife wouldn't want any reminders of my mom around (It's bad enough my sisters and I exist -- oh! don't I sound like I have "evil stepmother" syndrome? That's so bad. I'm like a walking, talking stereotype).
I found a dish just like this, same color, etc. with lid, at a store that was going out of business and probably paid too much for it ($11, I think), but it reminded me of my mother, so it was worth it. However, now, I'm afraid to use it because I'm afraid I'm going to break it, and I don't know what will actually fit in this tiny little dish -- you'd have to have a very small amount of leftovers to use this. I'll have to wait until I get a real kitchen with a nice display shelf and keep it up there, far from my the hands of my little explorer.
Anyway, I'm shocked to find out that I am not the only Pyrex lover out there. Here's a blog devoted to collecting Pyrex pieces: Pyrex Love
That might explain why on my one flea market expedition, I found my beloved Pyrex bowls, but the vendor was selling the set of three for $60. I only had a $20, because I figured I was going to a FLEA MARKET, so why should I bring a lot of money? I offered her the $20 for one of the bowls (I even offered to take the smallest), but she wouldn't break up the set. I thought that was rather uncharitable of her, since that was all the money I had on my person. I wonder what they were really worth.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Curvy Girls of the World, Unite!
New Curve Jeans from Levis
from Jezebel.com, August 9, 2010
accessed August 12, 2010
Finally. Maybe now I'll be able to wear jeans without worrying about "the gap" (not The Gap, but the gap that invariably occurs between my smallish waist and my larger behind). Not everyone has square hips. Still, I'll wait until I try on a pair before I thank Levis. I haven't forgotten the disasters that resulted from my trusting in other jeans manufacturers that promised (promised!) to eliminate "the gap" or to fit a "curvy" girl.
from Jezebel.com, August 9, 2010
accessed August 12, 2010
Finally. Maybe now I'll be able to wear jeans without worrying about "the gap" (not The Gap, but the gap that invariably occurs between my smallish waist and my larger behind). Not everyone has square hips. Still, I'll wait until I try on a pair before I thank Levis. I haven't forgotten the disasters that resulted from my trusting in other jeans manufacturers that promised (promised!) to eliminate "the gap" or to fit a "curvy" girl.
It's Hip to Be Square....Riiiight.
"Because, 10 year olds of the world, you shouldn't believe what your teachers tell you about the beauty and specialness and uniqueness of you. Or, believe it, little snowflake, but know that it won't make a bit of difference until after puberty. It's Newton's lost law; anything that makes you unique later will get your chocolate milk stolen and your eye blackened as a kid." Sloane Crosley, I Was Told There'd Be Cake.
The woman tells the truth, I tell you. She tells the truth.
On some blog or in some review journal, I saw a book out for teens called Geektastic: Stories from the Nerd Herd. It's basically a collection of stories about being a nerd (Full disclosure: I have not read this book yet). I also saw some comment a couple of weeks ago in Entertainment Weekly (I read it at the Laundromat) that it's cool to be a nerd. I remember being nerdy as a teenager (actually, at the time I would have preferred to call myself "weird" and did, on a regular basis -- Never would I have called myself a nerd - weird connotes "I chose to be this way", and is slightly artsy, Nerd is a label that no one picks for themselves, and if they do, it's totally in an ironic way, and usually (well) after high school). Let me tell you, it wasn't cool. I didn't call myself "weird" (nerd) because I was cool. Because part of being cool means never having to say you're cool. You just are.
It's been (gasp) 21 years since I graduated from high school, but I'd hazard a guess that it's still not cool to be a nerd when you're a kid. It may be cool for adults to wear "nerd chic" now in the 2010's, but let me repeat: kids still want to be cool. Glee (as much as I've loved the few episodes I've seen) is a TV show. In real life, everyone still wants to be the beautiful, popular ones. Dare I say that even among adults, it's the confidence that's really cool, that everyone aspires to. The cool nerd costume just doesn't fly without it. Admit to yourself, there aren't long lines waiting to be friends with the super shy recluse, with the uncomfortably awkward. And that's too bad. But it is true. I just can't stand hearing people who probably have always really been a little cool appropriating nerddom. 'Cause when it gets right down to it, are you going to make space in your latte circle for someone who doesn't fit the quirky cool nerd criteria? I doubt it. Okay. Getting off my bitter box now.
The woman tells the truth, I tell you. She tells the truth.
It's been (gasp) 21 years since I graduated from high school, but I'd hazard a guess that it's still not cool to be a nerd when you're a kid. It may be cool for adults to wear "nerd chic" now in the 2010's, but let me repeat: kids still want to be cool. Glee (as much as I've loved the few episodes I've seen) is a TV show. In real life, everyone still wants to be the beautiful, popular ones. Dare I say that even among adults, it's the confidence that's really cool, that everyone aspires to. The cool nerd costume just doesn't fly without it. Admit to yourself, there aren't long lines waiting to be friends with the super shy recluse, with the uncomfortably awkward. And that's too bad. But it is true. I just can't stand hearing people who probably have always really been a little cool appropriating nerddom. 'Cause when it gets right down to it, are you going to make space in your latte circle for someone who doesn't fit the quirky cool nerd criteria? I doubt it. Okay. Getting off my bitter box now.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
He Said, She Said
She said: I saw this billboard for this movie coming out called "Takers." There's all these beautiful black men in it. I'd love to see it.
He said: What's it about?
She said: (looking surprized) pause. I don't know.
Prop 8 Overturned!
I know I'm late, but I was on vacation when I heard the news, and no, I didn't have a computer with me. I'm happy to hear about Judge Vaughn Walker's decision that Prop 8 was unconstitutional. I was very unhappy that the original decision to make same-sex marriage legal was subjected to the whims of voters. Just imagine if interracial marriage had been allowed to be challenged in the courts after it became legal (Wow. It's so outside my paradigm for interracial marriage to be illegal that it just seems unreal to me). People may still not like interracial marriage, but I don't think anyone would take seriously a challenge to the legality of interracial marriage after all these years, and I don't think that same-sex marriage should have ever been something left up to voters to decide.
Here's part of Judge Vaughn Walker's decision, from an L.A. Times Article from August 4th.
"Conjecture, speculation and fears are not enough. Still less will the moral disapprobation of a group or class of citizens suffice, not matter how large the majority that shares that view. The evidence demonstrated beyond serious reckoning that Proposition 8 finds support only in such disapproval. As such, Proposition 8 is beyond the constitutional reach of the voters or their representatives."
He makes the case that domestic partnership is not just as good as marriage. If that's so, abolish marriage for straight people also and let us all be joined in civil domestic partnerships rather than holy matrimony. There just are things that are covered by the state of marriage that people outside of your union just will not respect or recognize if you are not married. Married. Remember when Obama made it so that same-sex partners could actually go visit their partners in the hospital? If domestic partnership is "separate but equal" (more civil rights references) -- then why was that necessary? Why were people at the whim of hospital administrators as to whether they could be at the bedside of the person they loved while that person was ill?
There are the weak arguments that same-sex marriage will weaken marriage by increasing divorce. Are you saying that heterosexuals respect marriage more than gays and lesbians would? That's not so. Look at all the heterosexuals who cheat on their husbands and wives. Look at all the divorces that happen now. Those are heterosexual marriages that are failing. Yes, some same-sex marriages will end in divorce, and some same-sex couples have pledged their lives to each other - married or not, and stood by that promise. There are similarly weak arguments that same-sex marriages are bad for children. Children need love. If a same-sex couple can give that child unconditional love, what could be wrong about that? Yes, little girls and boys need to have both male and female influences in their lives. And kids of straight parents where the mother or father is no longer around, be it through divorce, desertion or death, need those influences as well. Some of them get it from other loving, safe and secure adults in their lives, just as the children of same-sex parents can. Since having my own child, I am even more strongly convinced that loving communities help loving parents raise their children.
Not one group, regardless of sexual orientation, nationality, race or belief, is better, more morally correct or incorrect, or more deserving of rights than another. That's what this decision says to me, and with all the faults I have with California, because of this decision, for now, and hopefully on into the future, I can hold my head up and be proud that a judge from my adopted state saw through the b.s.
Here's part of Judge Vaughn Walker's decision, from an L.A. Times Article from August 4th.
"Conjecture, speculation and fears are not enough. Still less will the moral disapprobation of a group or class of citizens suffice, not matter how large the majority that shares that view. The evidence demonstrated beyond serious reckoning that Proposition 8 finds support only in such disapproval. As such, Proposition 8 is beyond the constitutional reach of the voters or their representatives."
He makes the case that domestic partnership is not just as good as marriage. If that's so, abolish marriage for straight people also and let us all be joined in civil domestic partnerships rather than holy matrimony. There just are things that are covered by the state of marriage that people outside of your union just will not respect or recognize if you are not married. Married. Remember when Obama made it so that same-sex partners could actually go visit their partners in the hospital? If domestic partnership is "separate but equal" (more civil rights references) -- then why was that necessary? Why were people at the whim of hospital administrators as to whether they could be at the bedside of the person they loved while that person was ill?
There are the weak arguments that same-sex marriage will weaken marriage by increasing divorce. Are you saying that heterosexuals respect marriage more than gays and lesbians would? That's not so. Look at all the heterosexuals who cheat on their husbands and wives. Look at all the divorces that happen now. Those are heterosexual marriages that are failing. Yes, some same-sex marriages will end in divorce, and some same-sex couples have pledged their lives to each other - married or not, and stood by that promise. There are similarly weak arguments that same-sex marriages are bad for children. Children need love. If a same-sex couple can give that child unconditional love, what could be wrong about that? Yes, little girls and boys need to have both male and female influences in their lives. And kids of straight parents where the mother or father is no longer around, be it through divorce, desertion or death, need those influences as well. Some of them get it from other loving, safe and secure adults in their lives, just as the children of same-sex parents can. Since having my own child, I am even more strongly convinced that loving communities help loving parents raise their children.
Not one group, regardless of sexual orientation, nationality, race or belief, is better, more morally correct or incorrect, or more deserving of rights than another. That's what this decision says to me, and with all the faults I have with California, because of this decision, for now, and hopefully on into the future, I can hold my head up and be proud that a judge from my adopted state saw through the b.s.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)