The Ghost of High Christmas Expectations

From Dec. 5, 2009 -

My little girl and I went to see the Nutcracker puppet show at the library. I was so uptight about being late that I almost ruined the whole dang experience. So often I have this attitude like "WE WILL BE HAPPY! WE WILL HAVE FUN!! WE WILL HAVE THE PERFECT EXPERIENCE EVEN IF IT KILLS ME!!!"

Fortunately, My girl was her bright and shiny self, even though she boycotted her morning nap. She had more fun looking and smiling at the kids than looking at the puppets. Once again, learning important lessons from a 13 month old child.

Today (Dec. 20, 2009) - I read a passage from a book by Buddhist Nun Pema Chodron that summed up my frantic desire to have everything just right. "The key to feeling at home with your body, mind and emotions, to feeling worthy to live on this planet, comes from being able to lighten up. This earnestness, this seriousness about everything in our lives - including practice - this goal-oriented, we're-going-to-do-it-or-else attitude, is the world's greatest killjoy. There's no sense of appreciation because we're so solemn about everything."

You can say that again.

Last night, we trimmed our cute little Charlie Brown Christmas tree. I'll post a picture if I get a chance. My husband bought it because I was getting uptight about it getting so close to Christmas and all we had was our ugly tiny fake tree that can't stand up under all my heavy ornaments. So he picked one up while I was at work and the first thing I thought when I saw it was -- what's up with the scrawny tree? He even paid full price for it (he totally got took) - but I didn't say anything -- you know why? 'Cause he's not into Christmas, and doesn't care about a tree. He did the Christmas tree thing for me, so why am I then gonna criticize because it's not perfect? Besides, just like with Charlie Brown's tree, someone's gotta love the scrawny ones too. So we listed to the Jackson 5 Christmas album and actually had fun putting the ornaments on. And I'm trying to learn to have fun even when things aren't perfect. One day at a time.

Being an Actual Librarian, For Once

I'm thinking about taking some time over Christmas to re-read books that I loved as a kid, but that, when I try to booktalk them, I try way too hard to rely on my memories of the book from when I was 8, 9, 10, or so, and end up stammering and driving the kids away from the books by really not doing them justice with my description.

(What a lovely run-on sentence THAT was.)

I'm also thinking about reading some Children's Lit classics that I always wanted to read. What is a classic? That will be defined by me, since I'll be reading them.

I wonder if I'll punk out?

I also reserve the right to stop reading any of them at any point, since I'm not in school and life is too short to read bad books (or books that are just boring you at the time.) I remember being discussing some books with fellow librarians a few years ago. If I remember correctly, it was the consensus that one particular book (I don't remember which -- no, I really don't) was tough to drag ourselves through. One person said: "why did you keep reading the book?" and we all, including librarians who had been doing this a lot longer than me, kinda looked incredulous. Someone said something to the effect of not wanting to give up on it in case it got good at the end.

I've heard that again and again, and it makes me feel like I'm not alone in my zealousness to "finish. that. stinkin'. book.", but also so glad that I heard the other person ask why we kept on reading -- because it gave me permission to stop reading a book that is so bad it makes me want to puncture my eyeballs. Of course, do I take advantage of this right? No. But I like to think I write amusing reviews of bad books, so maybe it's serving a purpose.

supercoolhappylovegroovething

I have a backlog of little inspirational messages that are sent to me everyday.

The one for today said "what could you do, within your means and comfort level, that could make you feel like a supercoolhappylovething?" That. That's it. That word makes me happy. The only way that the word "supercoolhappylovething" could be any better is if it had the word "groove" in it too.

Also, getting off the computer before I start to curse myself for wasting time.

Enjoy your day. Or evening. Whatever. It's daytime somewhere.

Things that make you go...what!?!

I just saw a post somewhere that Gary Busey is expecting a baby with his girlfriend, and to that I say. Girlfriend? Who the heck was having sex with Gary Busey? That's just amazing to me. Everytime I think of him I think of the Entourage episode where Ari says to Gary Busey: "You're about to spin off this planet." I think that's an apt description of Busey. I get a strange feeling that he wasn't even acting; that he was just being himself in all his Gary-ness. It's just what makes life interesting.

Guess Who's Back?

Dang. Have I been gone that long?